


I lost myself again (But I remember you)

by playfulparkson (ghostbvrinnit)



Series: irondad oneshots [6]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, Kidnapped Peter Parker, Kidnapping, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark are Siblings (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker Has a Family, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Precious Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Protective Peter Parker, Temporary Amnesia, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:26:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24057451
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostbvrinnit/pseuds/playfulparkson
Summary: He didn’t remember anything. Whatever those…men had done to him; they had scrambled his mind completely. He didn’t know where he was, how old he was, whether he had a family. Hell, he didn’t even know his own name. The men in there had called him SpiderInspired by a prompt on tumblr
Relationships: Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker & Pepper Potts & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: irondad oneshots [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1612441
Comments: 16
Kudos: 213





	I lost myself again (But I remember you)

**Author's Note:**

> title inspired by six feet under by billie eilish 
> 
> saw this as a prompt on tumblr, and i just had to write it.

_Run._

His feet burned in agony as he ran. Legs protesting every time the sole of his foot hit the floor. It was agony, tree branches pricking his feet, but he didn’t care. He didn’t know where he was, or where he was going, but he had to get away. Wherever that was. He could hear the voices shouting after him, lights flashing through the trees in the darkness. He payed no attention to it.

Finally, he lost them. He assumed they had gotten bored, slowing down his pace. He panted heavily and eventually slowed to a stop. Sighing softly to himself, he leaned heavily against a tree, his body weak and aching as he attempted to gather his thoughts.

He didn’t remember anything. Whatever those…men had done to him; they had scrambled his mind completely. He didn’t know where he was, how old he was, whether he had a family. Hell, he didn’t even know his own name. The men in there had called him Spider. 

They liked to do tests on him. He knew basic things, like his hands and feet were super sticky. He could stick to anything. He also knew that he had some sort of enhanced healing – well at least that’s what the men in the grey coats called it. Spider wasn’t sure what that meant, but they usually tested his healing by beating the crap out of him.

He wandered further, unaware of what was compelling him to go the way he was, but his gut was telling him that it was safe. And usually, his gut was pretty good at telling him when there was danger around. By the time he had reached any type of civilisation, it was morning. The sun had risen well beyond the tree tops, the bright blue sky swirled with beautiful white clouds. Spider smiled. He didn’t remember the last time he saw other colours than the neutral ones of his prison.

As he walked closer, he found a cabin. It was a rather large building, two-storied and was a rich dark brown colour. The cabin sat facing a lake, with a long dock travelling out and a small rowing boat tied to the end. In the front of the cabin was a tent, propped up by the tree it stood proudly next to. And Spider couldn’t help but feel as if it was familiar.

He attempted to go close, but was startled into jumping up into the tree, as the door to the cabin open. Spider froze, praying that it wasn’t the man come to take him back. He curled himself small in the top of the tree, peering put through the gaps of the leaves. His heart racing as an indescribable panic overtook him – begging that it wasn’t them. That they weren’t here to take him back.

It was a surprise to him when a small girl came running out the house, clutching a small toy underneath her arm as she stalked towards the tent. He observed her – the girl couldn’t have been older than 6. She had long dark brown hair. Spider wasn’t sure why, but he knew her. He couldn’t see her eyes, but he knew that they were a warm, rich dark brown. He didn’t know what her voice sounded like, but her sweet laugher echoed through his mind.

He stayed there silently, watching her. He knew how weird it sounded, but here was something about her that made him feel…warm. The overwhelming desire to protect her from harm caused him to stay rooted in his spot, even after a blonde woman had come out - her mother – and had called the girls name and the girl had obediently gone inside. 

_Morgan._ Her name was Morgan. She was 6 years old, and her birthday was in two months’ time. Her favourite colour was red, although he didn’t know why he knew that and the more he thought about it, the more confused his was and the more it made his head hurt.

Well after the sun had set, Spider was satisfied that Morgan had gone to bed, that she was safe. He finally let his guard down, uncurling from the ball and jumping down from the tree. He wandered over to the tent, peering inside. There was, of course, a tea set placed dutifully on the table in the centre of the small plastic table in the middle of the tent. White fairy light hung in a zig-zag pattern across the top of the tent, giving a source of light in the otherwise pitch-black surroundings.

Spider paused as he looked closer at one of the bears. It was wearing a red and blue suit. He frowned, running his hand over the spandex like material. Why was this familiar. Why was anything about this girl familiar. His head was hurting again as small flashes of a battle crossed his mind, but by the time he tried to think about it, the memory had disappeared like it was never there.

**-X-**

For the next few weeks, Spider watched Morgan from his spot in the tree. Always ready to fend off any danger that might come her way. Always ready to protect her if she needed it. He fell into a rhythm. Morgan would always leave the house early in the morning with either her mother or her father and wouldn't return until late in the afternoon. Five days a week without fail she would leave, but she would always come back. Spider was confused the first week. He didn't know where she went and had panicked. An overwhelming feeling of anxiety rooted deep in his chest as he anxiously waited for her return. And he still felt like that, despite being reassured and knowing that she would always come home.

Spider also watched the parents, and the way the mother would always come out and play with Morgan in her tent. They would have tea parties together, and the smaller of the two women loved it. The mother always had a fond smile that followed her daughters’ wild ramblings and nodded along even though Spider was certain the mother had no idea what she was talking about. The father, well he was different.

The more he observed the father, the more he realised how sad he was. Spider watched as the father would play with his daughter, just as the mother did. He observed how the father would take Morgan out onto the lake once a week in the small boat and they would stay out there until the mother called them in. But unlike the mother, who always had a happy smile, the father would look as his daughter with a sad one stretched across his lips.

He observed how one night, the father came outside and sat on the deck, well after Morgan had gone to bed. Spider watched as his shoulder shook, short and sharp sobs escaping his lips. His heart hurt for this man, and he felt as if he should be there comforting him. Spider had sworn he had done it before. But still, the memories would not come. The mother had joined him shortly after, consoling him. They stayed out there until dawn.

**-X-**

The more time Spider spent with this family, the more he felt connected with them. Like he was meant to be there with them. The names Tony and Pepper had come to his mind once, as he watched Morgan hurt herself. She had tripped over a tree stump and cut her leg. And all Spider could wish was that Tony and Pepper would hurry up. He hadn’t even realised it until later that night.

Tony and Pepper. Tony and Pepper. Why were those names so damn familiar? Spider tried. He really did. He tried remembering why he knew those names – how he knew those names, but nothing was coming back to him. Flashes of a lab, echoes of laughter. But no matter how hard he tried; it was never enough. It frustrated Spider beyond belief. He knew these people were important to him. He cared about them. But he didn’t know why.

Tony was out on the deck again, but this time, he was accompanied by Morgan. The smaller girl sat close to her fathers’ side, her small frame shaking as the father clutched her close. Spider moved in the tree, close enough so he could hear the conversation they were having. He knew it was rude to eavesdrop, but Morgan was so sad, and it took all of Spiders will not to go down there and hug her.

“I miss him Daddy” The younger wept, wiping her face into her fathers’ side. Tony didn’t look down at her, but he subconsciously drew her closer to him.

“Me too Morg. Me too. We’ll get him back. You know Auntie Nat and Uncle Clint are searching for him. They can’t hide him from us forever” There was something resigned about Tony’s tone. As if he didn’t believe the things he was telling his daughter, but he wished he did.

“Tell me a story. A Peter story not a Spider-man one” Morgan looked up to her father, blinking owlishly at him through wet lashes. Tony laughed, rubbing his hand over his face.

“Ok. So, there was this one time in the lab. Peter was very very tired because he had been a really naughty spider and stayed up all night. So, he fell asleep on one of the tables in the lab. So, because he had been a naughty spider, I made FRIDAY play music so loud, that it woke Peter up. He go so scared that he jumped on the ceiling and refused to come down until he had his nap. He ended up sleeping on the ceiling for almost 2 hours and even then, he only came down because we threatened to call Auntie May on him.”

Morgan giggled; the sound was music to Spiders ears. He didn’t know who Peter was, but Spider assumed that it was Tony’s son. And he also assumed that Peter was the one Tony was crying over a few weeks prior. It made him wonder how long Peter had been missing for, which led Spider to wonder whether his own family missed him too. Either way, Spider was glad that Peter made Morgan so happy. He wondered where he had gone. Didn’t he know that Tony and Morgan missed him?

“He’ll come home right Daddy. You promise he’ll come home”

Tony hesitated, clearly unsure what to say. Spider knew that Tony couldn’t promise the safe return of this Peter. It wasn’t how the world worked. But to the six-year-old girl, Spider hoped Tony would just lie.

“I’ll try sweetie. I’m trying so hard to bring him home to us”

**-X-**

Time seemed irrelevant as Spider watched over the family, only ever leaving his tree at the dead of night to find food and he used the trees as bathrooms. He rarely slept, only catching an hour or two worth of sleep every night. His dreams were plagued with memories that he could have sworn weren’t his own, because all of them contained Tony, Pepper and Morgan in some shape or form. There were other people in his dreams as well. A man, around the same age as Tony who had the name of an emotion, but Spider couldn’t pinpoint what it was. A woman, with long wavy brown hair and circular glasses. He didn’t know her name either, but he felt and overwhelming sense of love towards her, just as he did towards Morgan and Tony.

There were hundreds more, people flitting in and out in his subconsciousness, but he could never seem to remember their names or properly remember what they looked like. It made him wonder what made Tony and Pepper so different. Why he could remember their names. Why he knew them.

Then there was one night the family had a party. Spider had to be careful as Tony and Pepper set up the garden for the party. He hid higher up in the tree than usual, enough so the family didn’t notice him whilst stringing fairy lights from the trees. He watched for his spot as the family had their friends, sitting round a fire pit. Morgan was smiling in delight as she played with children of her own age and it really made Spider smile. She had seemed so sad a few weeks back. He preferred it when she smiled. The adults…they looked sad again. All of them did, and Spider didn’t understand why.

He watched as the day turned into night and eventually the friends left, leaving Tony and Pepper in the garden with a sleeping Morgan on their laps. Tony gently lifted Morgan into his arm, cradling her close to his chest. Pepper followed behind them, opening the door for Tony and then disappeared into the house afterwards.

Spider jumped down from his tree, stretching his legs as he felt the cool grass between his toes. He looked round at the scene, wishing he could have a family like this. As he got closer to the fire pit, he noticed a small green frog on the floor by the chair that Tony had been sat on. Spider picked the toy, running his hand over the soft material. He knew Morgan couldn’t sleep without it. He needed to get it to her.

Silently, Spider entered the cabin. It had been the first time he had ever been anyway near the inside of the family’s home, preferring to stay out and watch over them. But he knew Morgan needed the toy to sleep. He glanced around the cabin, his head starting to ache more and more as his surrounding were familiar to him. But that had to be impossible. He had never been inside before, right?

As he passed the stairs there was a phot o frame hanging proudly beside it. Framed in a rich dark oak, Spider stared at the photo. He dropped the toy and moved closer. It was of Tony and a boy, who looked strangely similar to himself. The boy was holding a certificate, the words ‘Peter Parker’ written on the white paper. Spider’s head hurt. 

Spider gasped, collapsing on the floor and he grabbed his head in agony. Why did it hurt so much? Images were flashing behind his eyes. _An airport, Tony, a man in a blue, white and red suit, webs, a boy holding something made out of small bricks, a girl holding a book. The ferry, Tony, the building, homecoming, Liz. Ned. May. Michelle. Titian, turning to dust. Then going to Europe, and Beck. He was taken by Beck and they tortured him. Beck threatened Morgan. He complied to protect Morgan. Tony and Pepper. Tony and Pepper. **Tony and Pepper.**_

Peter let out another gasp, tears streaming down his face. His head was spinning as his memories came flooding back, overriding all of Beck’s programming. He breathed heavily, pain spreading through his chest as he coughed.

Then, a mug shattered. He turned his head.

Tony. 

**Author's Note:**

> leave ideas, i'm always looking for new things to write. Tony's POV coming whenever i get round to writing it. xox 
> 
> -Lauren


End file.
